good food show 2010: in anticipation

OK. It’s 10.30am and I am ready for that highlight of the Doyle Women calendar – the Melbourne Food and Wine Show!

It’s a tradition that’s been in place since I came here in 2005. I am ready for the challenge.

The usual rules apply:

1. Wear comfy shoes and layers – it’s a tough day;
2. Bring an old lady’s shopping trolley on wheels to save us carrying all those freebies;
3. Have a decent breakfast or lunch before starting in the wine tasting section;
4. Do not make any serious plans for the evening;
5. Don’t buy anything bulky too early or you will have to carry it all day
6. Don’t buy the first thing you see – there will be plenty of opportunity to empty your purse
7. Don’t spend all day in the first three rows of stalls
8. No pamphlets, show bags full of tins of tomatoes and 50 cent pasta, or magazines
9. Try everything you are offered (note: this applies only to food – see next rule).
10. Only taste one wine per stall
11. Less talking, more drinking
12. Do not try to sound knowledgeable or even interested – the stall people can see you are drunk.
13. Do not try to make friends with the other people tasting wine – this is wasting time.
14. Don’t buy ANYTHING after the first half hour – you are drunk by then
15. Ask the nice man to write the name of the wine down. You will not remember anything (much) 
16. Do not stand Orlando up afterwards, but respect his kind offer of a lift home and try not to be a disastrous drunk!

I shall report back later. Wish me luck!