waiting to exhale

We have great holidays. Since moving to Australia we’ve been to Japan, New Zealand, Cambodia, Ireland, Hong Kong,  London, France, and all over Australia. We cram as much as we can into the time we have off work. We’re experts at it.

This is the first time in a few years that we have a very relaxing, quiet holiday planned. My words to Orlando were that I wanted to get away from it all, not get amongst it. A new country, albeit seen through the lens of a tourist resort, will be a novelty: our first time on a Pacific island.

I am looking forward to it more than anything in recent years.

The closer we get to this trip, the more significant it becomes to me. Usually I look forward to the exploration, the travel, the new experiences. This time, I am focusing on space. Space to think, to live a few hours uncluttered by breaking news on the internet, the drip-feed of work emails, the queue of tv shows and movies waiting to be watched on the set-top box, the news feed on Facebook, the pile of books by the bed waiting to be read, two blogs to be updated, two mobile phones in my handbag.

I imagine sleeping and waking according to what my body says. Listening to the sound of the waves rather than my MP3 player. Figuring out what time it is according to the position of the sun in the sky, and not my work phone. Drinking water and not using coffee to get through the day. Spending time suspended underwater, silent, observing the aquatic life around me. Reconnecting with nature, with the water, with the stars, with my own mind and body, with Orlando. Not thinking about others, but about myself. Ourselves.

I kind of forget how to do all that.

I want to get to the point where all I think about is the next break  of a wave on the beach. I want to empty my mind.

I shall let you know how I go.

 

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